Ruined (To Love a Governess Regency Short Story) Read online

  “We are in agreement. You will have no concerns shortly so please, let me hem your dress.”

  With reluctance, Audrey stepped back onto the stool and stood patiently while Monique pinned. She turned when instructed, trying to ignore the knot of worry in her stomach.

  When Monique finished she stood. “If you will hand me the dress I will have it hemmed in a short time and you can be wearing it soon.”

  Lady Timothy stood behind Audrey and studied her reflection in the mirror. “She needs more than a new dress.”

  Heat crept up Audrey’s face. Her appearance was appalling.

  “Do you mind if we go upstairs, Monique?” Lady Timothy asked.

  “No, of course not.” She helped Audrey step from the dress. “I am sure Miss Rutledge would like nothing better than to wash and repair her hair.”

  Audrey whipped around. “Thank you, but I don’t want to be a bother.”

  Monique smiled. “It is no bother. Besides, where else can you prepare yourself for the interview with Lord Fairfield?”

  Chapter 5

  Alec paced inside the clothing shop while he waited for Miss Rutledge to reappear. Monique had provided him with a cup of tea but he had not seen anyone for well over an hour. How long does it take to bathe and hem a gown?

  Lady Timothy was the first to appear but Miss Rutledge did not follow. She approached Alec, a contemplative look upon her face. “Are you aware Fairfield has taken his family from town and will not be back for a few days?”

  “I learned this morning.”

  “I know you haven’t bothered to mention this to Miss Rutledge because she is under the impression her interview will be today.”

  Was she accusing him of not being honest? Although, he had thought to put off telling Miss Rutledge. “I haven’t exactly been given the opportunity. You whisked her away before we could speak.”

  “True.” Lady Timothy pursed her lips and seemed to be in thought for a moment. “Have you given any consideration to where she will stay?”

  “I don’t believe the inn is a safe place for a young lady.”

  “Nor can she afford it,” Lady Timothy added.

  “I thought to take her to Briar Crest Abbey.”

  Lady Timothy straightened. “Your estate?”

  Alec turned at the gasp coming from behind him. Miss Rutledge stood before him, eyes wide and jaw set. What other choice did he have?

  Miss Rutledge took a step forward and pointed a finger at him. “My reputation may have suffered in London because of actions beyond my control, but I will not put myself in further situations that could ruin any chances of my being hired by Fairfield.” She folded her arms across her chest, pivoted and walked away. “I cannot believe you would even make such a suggestion.”

  This was not going well. Alec walked after her. “I thought to offer a safe place for you to stay.”

  She wheeled around. “In a bachelor home without a companion or chaperone?”

  “I am sorry.” He pushed his fingers through his hair, trying to think of how to rectify this matter. “I didn’t think of the offer in those terms.”

  He glanced back at Monique and Lady Timothy. They were both watching them with interest. Alec wished they would disappear so he could speak openly with Miss Rutledge. “I just learned Fairfield will not be back for a few days.” He pulled her further away from the other ladies and spoke quietly. “I have thought of you often. I’ve wondered what happened to you, and even worried about you. I never dreamed I would find you in an employment agency in Edinburgh. I thought to take you to my home so that we could become reacquainted again.” He reached out and took her hand. “I am sorry. I was only thinking of what I wanted and not how it could harm you.”

  “Just because I allowed liberties in London,” she glanced over to the two women, “does not mean I would willingly take up where we left off, or allow you to…”

  “I wouldn’t,” Alec insisted. He wanted to, definitely, but he would not treat her with such disrespect.

  “Miss Rutledge is welcome to stay with my husband and me.” Lady Timothy came forward, interrupting them. How was he to learn if she wished to become reacquainted if he wasn’t allowed to speak with her in private?

  “Oh, no. I couldn’t,” Miss Rutledge objected.

  Lady Timothy grinned. “Of course you could.” She turned to Alec. “If you wish to call on Miss Rutledge, you will know where to find her.”

  Monique handed Miss Rutledge her cloak and the two women strolled out of the shop before Alec could offer a protest. He had hoped they could have at least had tea so he could gauge her reaction to him. He needed to determine if she was open to his courtship without coming right out and asking. Instead, the meddlesome Lady Timothy had taken her away.

  “That wasn’t well done of you, nor was it a very good plan,” Monique offered from her place beside the counter.

  “I wasn’t thinking of anything except spending more time with Miss Rutledge.”

  A sly grin came to her face. “I thought so.”

  “Now what am I to do?”

  “Call on her, of course. Or don’t you know how to court a lady?”

  * * *

  Audrey settled onto the settee in the Strotham townhouse not far from Monique’s shop. “Thank you for your kindness.”

  “I am happy to be of assistance.” Lady Timothy poured a cup of tea and handed it to Audrey. “I found myself in a similar predicament when I came to Willanton. For me, it was finding a way to travel here. Strotham agreed to a handfasting so that I could travel with him without my reputation being in tatters.”

  “You are handfasted?” Was that as good as married? She recalled hearing something of the practice but knew none of the particulars.

  Lady Timothy laughed. “We are married despite the odd circumstances.”

  Lady Timothy seemed very happy with the outcome so Audrey didn’t question it any further.

  “By the way, I’ve sent an invitation to Winters to join us for dinner.”

  Audrey’s heart skipped a beat. “I wish you wouldn’t have.” She clasped a hand over her mouth. She couldn’t believe she’d said what should have been a private thought.

  Lady Timothy frowned. “Do you not care for him?”

  I care for him too much. “I don’t want him to feel he needs to be responsible for me.”

  “I don’t think responsibility is his concern.” Lady Timothy smiled down into her cup before she sipped.

  “Lord Winters saw that I was hired for Fairfield so he could find a wife this Season,” Audrey reminded her.

  “I know. I will simply be surprised if he actually travels to London with that purpose in mind.”

  “Of course he will.” Audrey knew what Lady Timothy was hinting at, but she did not want to get her hopes up. Regardless of her attraction, she was still ruined and Winters’ interest was only that she become Fairfield’s governess. And, just because he wanted to become reacquainted and spend time with her, did not mean he was interested in anything more than friendship. She could not wish for more. To do so would leave her crushed in the end.

  Lady Timothy placed her cup on the table and looked Audrey in the eye. “If Winters decided to focus on you instead of a lady in London, would that please you?”

  Audrey’s face heated. “That will not happen so there is no need to discuss such a possibility.” She drained the tea from her cup.

  “Let’s pretend, shall we?”

  Audrey placed the cup on the table and folded her hands in her lap. She could not look at Lady Timothy for fear of giving too much away. “I would not be adverse to his attention.”

  “I knew I was correct.”

  “Winters’ plans and my wishes are two different matters. Please, do not assume there is something possible that is not.”

  Lady Timothy dismissed her with a wave of her hand. “I watched him looking at you in Monique’s shop. That gentleman has more on his mind than seeing you settled as a governess.”

&n
bsp; “You are mistaken.” Audrey would not give into hope. Lady Timothy was wrong and she would remind herself of that as often as she needed.

  Chapter 6

  Alec arrived earlier than the invitation stated, but he could not stay away. He could not get Miss Rutledge off his mind. The ladies had worked wonders in the hour they were away. The new dress fit Miss Rutledge better than any dress he had seen her wear before. Perhaps that wasn’t such a good thing, however. The dark green hugged her breasts, leaving no doubt to the shape. The remainder of the dress fell from the high waist and though he couldn’t make out her shape, the material moved in a manner that revealed the outline of her buttocks, thigh, hip and stomach at different times, and only for a moment. Such a garment kept a gentleman’s focus and had him hoping for more to be revealed. Monique must be the most talented seamstress he’d ever met because each of her gowns inspired lust with only revealing the most modest portions of skin.

  Somehow Miss Audrey’s hair had also been washed and styled. One would think with her thick locks it would take more than an hour to see it dried, let alone styled. But, with any luck, he would one day see what the gown hinted at and learn exactly how long it took for her hair to dry. He just wasn’t sure he had the patience to wait, which was the reason he arrived for dinner now. An hour early. “I apologize.” He bowed to Lady Timothy. “I know I am early.”

  “That is quite all right.”

  Lady Timothy settled onto the settee and watched him with humor. He couldn’t understand why she looked at him that way, unless something had happened to his appearance in the carriage ride.

  “Wine? Brandy?” Lord Timothy Strotham asked from across the room.

  “Wine, please.”

  “Miss Rutledge should be joining us momentarily,” Lady Timothy said. “She wished to rest before dinner.”

  Of course she would and he should have already considered such a thing. The young woman had just traveled three days on a public coach. What were the Strothams thinking by entertaining when Miss Rutledge should be resting? For a moment he considered taking his leave, but he wanted to see Miss Rutledge. It had been four hours already and even that was a bit long now that he knew she was so close.

  “I feel it is my duty to warn you what my wife is scheming.” Strotham pressed the crystal into his hand. “She is matchmaking, so I would run quickly if I were you.”

  “Miss Rutledge?” He arched an eyebrow with the question.

  “Yes. I can make your excuses, if you wish.”

  So, Lady Timothy did suspect his intentions. He couldn’t imagine any harm could come from her interference. Perhaps in this instance, her meddlesome interest could be beneficial. “That won’t be necessary.” Alec fought not to grin.

  “Ah, so my wife was correct.” Strotham nodded as he turned and walked away, settling in a chair not far from his wife.

  “Good evening.”

  Alec turned to the door and forgot to breathe. This was not the same Miss Rutledge who had walked out of the dress shop. This was the Miss Rutledge he remembered from the ballrooms in London with her golden cascade of curls, flushed face, full rosy lips and deep brown eyes. The soft blue gown hugged her breasts then fell to the floor. It was all he could do not to pull her into his arms.

  “Good evening, Miss Rutledge,” Lord Timothy murmured as he stood and walked past Alec. He smirked and offered his arm to Miss Rutledge.

  Alec should have been the one to do so, but he was rooted in his spot, overcome by her beauty and allure. This was the same thing that had happened to him in London when he first saw her. But now Vickery was no longer an issue. So why was he standing here gawking at her like a schoolboy with his first infatuation?

  “Dinner will not be served for half an hour. Would you like to take Miss Audrey for a stroll in the gardens, Lord Winters?”

  He glanced at Lady Timothy, who watched him expectantly, humor in her eyes. Alec was clearly making a cake of himself.

  “Yes, that would be delightful.” He approached Miss Rutledge and held out his arm. “If the lady wishes.”

  Miss Rutledge bit her lip and linked her arm with his. Her delicate hand rested on his forearm and it burned through his jacket. It had always been this way when they touched. He just hoped he could control himself and keep the simple walk innocent.

  “I would like to thank you for securing me a position,” Miss Rutledge said after they had taken a few steps into the garden. “I was unable to find employment in London.”

  “I know the girls will love having you as a governess.” If I give you up, that is.

  “Are you sure Fairfield will still hire me, once he knows the truth?”

  They were now far enough away from the house that Alec didn’t fear their conversation being over heard. He sighed with relief at finally being alone with her. He stopped and turned toward her. “After I explain everything to my cousin I am sure he will have no objection.”

  She looked up at him, her eyes crinkling with worry. “But there is more to my ruination than my father disappearing to avoid his debts and Vickery breaking the betrothal.”

  Alec took both of her gloved hands in his. “I can’t imagine anything so horrible that Fairfield would reject you.”

  “But it is. And I must tell him first, before he learns of it somewhere else.”

  He squeezed her fingers. “Go on. I will let you know if it is something he can’t ignore.”

  Miss Rutledge pulled her hands from his and turned away. The fact that she wouldn’t look at him was worrisome. Had something horrible happened to her? Was she truly ruined in the most literal sense? Would it matter to him if she were?

  Of course not.

  “I was given a governess position with the Stuarts, for their three daughters.”

  “I know the family,” Alec said slowly, afraid of what was to come. Miss Rutledge’s posture was straight and her shoulders tense.

  “They have a son who had just returned from Oxford.”

  Alec knew of the gentleman, though he had difficulty referring to him as such, given the rumors he had heard.

  “He came to my room one evening. He wanted to benefit from the governess as well.”

  She sniffed and Alec walked forward, placing his hands on her shoulders. If that bastard laid one finger on her, Alec would kill him.

  “I fought him off but the noise drew attention. His parents blamed me and turned me out without reference. They said if I hadn’t flirted, he wouldn’t have thought he could come to my room. They also said things around Town that this is what happened when you hired someone with my reputation and that I only wanted to work as a governess to trap a lord’s son into marriage.”

  Alec turned her to face him. Tears streamed down her face and he drew her into his arms. “I am glad you fought.”

  Her body shook with her sobs.

  “That is why I had to come north for work and why I am afraid Lord Fairfield will not hire me.” She sniffed and Alec pulled a handkerchief from his pocket.

  “Thank you,” she said, dabbing at her eyes.

  He pulled her tight against him. The desire to hold and protect her from the world was stronger than his desire to make love to her. What kind of man put that desire over the other? Perhaps a man in love? No. It was too soon to be in love with Miss Rutledge. They barely knew one another.

  “I am sure my cousin will hire you. He will trust me. Especially when I advise him of Lord Stuart’s son’s reputation.”

  She sniffed again and looked up at Alec. “Thank you.”

  * * *

  Though her tears were spent, Audrey had no desire to step away from Lord Winters and out of his arms. She had never felt so safe, so secure. But if she stayed here much longer, what would he think of her? Audrey moved to take a step back but his arms tightened, not letting her go.

  She remained a few moments longer, her cheek against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart. She could stay here forever. But why was he holding her? She should have be
en alarmed but fear was the last thing from her mind.

  “Though this is highly improper, I can’t seem to let you go.”

  She looked up. His blue eyes were dark and a russet curl had fallen onto his forehead. If he could confess his feelings then so could she. “I am not sure I want to pull away.”

  “I’ve missed you.” He studied her face a few moments longer until his gaze settled on her lips. Winters lowered his head and brushed his lips across her mouth. It was warm and innocent. Audrey thought that was all he would do but he returned and applied more pressure as his arms tightened further. His tongue traced the seam of her mouth and Audrey parted her lips. Winters delved deeper and she was lost. She had been kissed before but his were always exquisite. She had to grasp his shoulders for purchase before her knees gave out. Over and over he plundered her mouth with his tongue and she mimicked his actions.

  Her body grew warm and she welcomed the cool wind that swirled around them. Winters’ hands caressed up and down her back, his lips never leaving hers as his arousal hardened against her stomach. This always happened when they were alone in a dark garden. After the first time he kissed her, they tried to be alone this way as often as possible. It was wrong because she had been betrothed, but she found her betrothed repugnant and thought to take as much pleasure for herself before settling into an unhappy marriage. Their passion was as strong now as it had been a year ago. Why did she have to be reminded of this now when she knew there would never be another opportunity?

  Winters’ hand skimmed around her side and came forward to cup her breast. His thumb slid across the tip.

  Even the cold wind couldn’t quell the heat now.

  His lips left hers and trailed across her cheek to her ear before he kissed her neck. Audrey let her head fall back and enjoyed the wondrous sensations he was producing in her body. At this moment she didn’t care what happened as long as he continued to make her feel this way.

  “Excuse me.”