Ruined (To Love a Governess Regency Short Story) Read online

  “Miss Rutledge is perfect.”

  The young lady relaxed and smiled gently, her eyes downcast. She had probably been worried about what the future held for her for the past nine months.

  “I would like Miss Rutledge to join me in Willanton in a week, and then I will make the proper introductions.”

  * * *

  Audrey remained in the office after Lord Winters left and willed her hands to stop trembling. At first she’d hoped he didn’t recognize her and then feared he would reject her. She couldn’t believe he actually hired her. Winters had hardly changed. His hair was still auburn, thick and wavy, but it was his deep blue eyes that had always held her attention.

  It had been almost a year since they last danced—since he’d held her and kissed her. What would have happened between her and Winters had her father not betrothed her to Vickery? Would they have become engaged? Would he have left her after her father disappeared? She liked to think he wouldn’t, but one never knew.

  “What do you know of Winters?” Mrs. Downing studied her.

  Only that my heart hitches when he speaks and my skin tingled whenever we danced. “He is an honorable and respectable gentleman.” One I wish I could have spent more time with. The one I wished I could have married. “I hadn’t realized he was married.” And even if he had married the moment she left town, his child would be an infant. “Did he marry a widow with children?” Audrey ignored the pain of her heart at the thought of him married to another lady.

  Mrs. Downing settled onto the lavender settee and indicated for Audrey to join her. “He is assisting his cousin, Lord Fairfield. When Lord Fairfield’s brother and sister-in-law were killed last year he inherited the title and his five nieces.”

  Relief swept through Audrey with the knowledge she would not have to live in Winters’ household and witness him and his wife or any affection they may share, even if it was simple glances.

  “Nor has he married,” Mrs. Downing added.

  Her pulse increased. He was still a bachelor. Her stomach turned a moment later knowing that she would never be worthy of him. A man such as Winters did not take an interest in ruined young ladies such as herself.

  “Do you think you are up to the task of five girls?”

  If anything, she would be too busy to think about Lord Winters. “Yes. I look forward to the challenge.”

  Chapter 3

  Alec dropped onto the seat of his carriage and hit the roof with his cane. He lurched forward as they drove away from Fairfield’s estate, vacant of his cousin, his wife and their nieces.

  Why did Fairfield pick this week, of all weeks, to take his family to visit to their grandparents?

  He couldn’t very well set Miss Rutledge up at his cousin’s house because Fairfield didn’t know about her yet. But his was a bachelor household with the housekeeper being the closest thing to a chaperone.

  What was he to tell her? Would Miss Rutledge stay with him and risk ruining her reputation further?

  He could ask, but if Miss Rutledge insisted, he would see that she returned to Edinburgh until Fairfield returns. He dearly hoped she wished to remain with him, though. This was one opportunity he did not want to miss. His desire for her had not died, regardless of the impossibility and now he had been given a second chance. Alec wasn’t about to squander it. His heart was still engaged, but he needed to determine if they still suited after all this time and everything Miss Rutledge had endured.

  Maybe he wouldn’t tell her right away that her potential employer happened to be out of town for a few days. Besides, by the time she arrived it would be too late to turn around and return; nor would she wish to after traveling for two days. In fact, it would be a complete waste given that once she arrived in Edinburg, she would only need to make the trip back a day later.

  It was best that she stay with him and he would preserve her reputation the best he knew how. It wasn’t like anyone would know. Briar Crest Abbey was further away from a town than any other estate and there wasn’t a neighbor within walking distance.

  He glanced out the window to the passing scenery. Between Fairfield’s and his estate was the town of Willanton. There was also an inn. Perhaps he should see about a room for Miss Rutledge. At least then her reputation wouldn’t be at risk.

  But what of danger? He didn’t know the type of men who stayed at the inn. Would he be putting her in physical danger by trying to protect her reputation?

  He couldn’t risk it. She would just have to stay at Briar Crest Abbey and hope nobody learned of it. Though Fairfield would, of course, but Alec trusted his cousin not to hold this mild indiscretion against her.

  Indiscretion? There was no indiscretion.

  Alec thrust his fingers through his hair. He should not and would not think of Miss Rutledge and indiscretions in the same sentence. She was a lady despite her circumstances and he would treat her as such.

  Resolved, he knocked on the roof when the carriage entered the main street through town. He would wait here until her coach arrived then escort her to Briar Crest Abbey.

  Alec stepped out into the sunshine and looked around. As usual the residents strolled from one shop to another. The lending library would soon be open and would be a great asset to the community. But that wasn’t his destination. The Tea Room next to the library would offer sustenance and a warm place to wait. Though the sun may be shining, there was still a brisk wind and he had no desire to remain outside any longer than necessary.

  * * *

  It was all Audrey could do not to push everyone out of the way so she could finally get out of the public coach. Her plan had been perfect. By getting on first in Edinburgh she was able to get a seat next to the window, farthest from the door. It was better than being stuck between strangers. Unfortunately it left her trapped inside the sweltering conveyance with five other passengers putting off body heat and stench throughout the last two days.

  At each stop she waited to board, hoping to find a seat closer to the door, but each time she entered, the kind people had held her place for her. If she never sat in a coach again she would be happy.

  The five ahead of her did not seem to be in as much of a hurry as she was. Then again, they were continuing onto another destination. She was the only one remaining in Willanton.

  The man who had sat next to her waited and offered a hand when she stepped out of the coach. Thank goodness she would not need to touch him ever again. The coach was crowded but he was far too familiar with the way he shifted into her more times than she could count, especially under the cover of darkness when his hand had more than once skimmed up her arm. He made her uncomfortable and she could not wait to be away from him.

  Audrey hid her irritation and dislike behind a polite smile and accepted his hand, pulling away the moment her feet were safely on the walk. She made her way to the back of the coach, but the driver wasn’t there.

  She marched to the front to find him standing by the horses. “Where is my trunk?”

  “You didn’t have a trunk.”

  “Yes, I did. Willis, the footman, had it with him in the carriage and he was to deliver it to you for loading.”

  “I remember the young man, but he didn’t give me no trunk.”

  Audrey stomped back to the coach and looked at the luggage behind and on top. Her trunk was not there. All this way and no trunk, no personal effects, nothing but the clothing on her back and the few items thrown into the satchel she carried with her. Why hadn’t she insisted on getting her trunk the one time they stopped at an inn? Then she would have known her belongings were not with her. The driver had refused to unload and load at each stop, forcing the passengers to make do with what they had.

  What was she to do?

  The other passengers wandered into a tea shop down the road. Audrey did not follow. Instead she found a bench along the walk, settled onto it and opened her reticule. She had very few funds and certainly not enough for a change of clothing. She glanced down at her dress and thought to pull her
pelisse closed before someone noticed her appearance. The hem of her gown was muddy and there was a stain from the chocolate one of the passengers had spilled into her lap. She could not present herself for an interview dressed like this.

  Tears pricked the back of her eyes. She squeezed her eyes shut and gritted her teeth. She had suffered worse than this and would manage somehow.

  Across the street was a modiste. It wouldn’t hurt to find out the cost of a dress.

  Audrey stood, clutched her reticule and lifted her satchel before she marched across the street. Maybe the proprietress would take pity on her?

  No. Audrey squelched the thought. She would not take charity, ever. She would get through this one way or the other.

  A bell tinkled above the door when she entered and one of the most beautiful women she had ever lain eyes upon came from the back room. She had black hair and the clearest blue eyes Audrey had ever seen. And her smile was warm and welcoming.

  “Good afternoon.” Her smile broadened. “I am Monique. May I help you?”

  Audrey quickly explained her need before getting down to business. “How much for a dress?”

  The bell tinkled again and Audrey turned. Another lady entered. She also had dark hair but in contrast to Monique’s blue eyes, this lady’s were dark brown.

  “Good afternoon, Lady Timothy,” Monique greeted.

  “Miss Rutledge, I would like to introduce you to Lady Timothy. She and her husband will be opening the lending library down the street.”

  Audrey greeted the lady with a smile, unsure what to say. She wanted to hide behind the screen, or in a closet. Both ladies were not only beautiful, but elegant from their artfully arranged hair to their clean, crisp, fashionable clothing. Audrey caught sight of herself in the mirror and groaned. Any semblance of a hairstyle was gone. Half of her hair was falling down and the other flattened to the side of her head from falling asleep against the side of the coach. They should have insisted that the driver stop last night instead of continuing on. Not only was her clothing stained, but wrinkled as well. Bed clothes didn’t even look this bad after someone tossed in them all night.

  “Are you continuing on or staying with us in Willanton?”

  It took Audrey a moment to realize Lady Timothy had asked the question. Both ladies were watching her expectantly. What had they been saying while she was ruminating over her appearance?

  “I had hoped to be hired as a governess by Lord Fairfield. But I cannot present myself looking like this.” She opened her arms and gestured to her dress.

  Lady Timothy raised an eyebrow and looked her up and down. “I don’t wish to be rude, but I must agree.”

  “Let me see what I have in the back.” Monique disappeared, leaving Audrey alone with Lady Timothy.

  Lady Timothy grinned. “I was to be their governess.”

  “What happened?” If this lovely lady before her could not land the position, what chance did she have?

  She shrugged. “I got married.”

  Relief swept through Audrey as Monique returned with a simple, dark green gown. It was perfect for her purpose and appeared as if it would be a close fit.

  “How much?” There was no point in getting her hopes up if it was too costly.

  The bell above the door tinkled again and Audrey turned. Mortification swept over her.

  Chapter 4

  “Miss Rutledge,” Alec began but was brought up short by her appearance. He tried not to gape but the poor woman was mussed, almost beyond repair. If only he had been the one to do the damage to her hair, and not what must have been a horrendous trip on a public coach. Perhaps he should have left his carriage for her or allowed her to travel back to Willanton with him; but he was so surprised to come face to face with her in the employment agency that he couldn’t think straight.

  Of course, had he given her his carriage he would still be in Edinburgh waiting for James to tire of his carousing. And, if he would have asked her to share the carriage with him, she would have been ruined before they were a day into the trip, and not just her reputation. It didn’t matter that all of London saw her as ruined, he did not, and he was not going to be the one to add to her already low reputation.

  Regardless of her appearance, she was still lovely. Probably one of the loveliest ladies of his acquaintance. And even though her blonde hair hung straight instead of in fashionable curls, he itched to run his fingers through the silken mass.

  Alec took another step forward. “I thought I saw you come in here.”

  “Lord Winters.” She slightly inclined her head.

  He came further into the room. “I was waiting in the Tea Room for you to arrive.” He glanced around for her things. “Did you only bring a satchel?”

  “Apparently the footman forgot to load her trunk,” Monique offered.

  Alec jerked his head toward the modiste. He hadn’t even noticed her standing there.

  “She has only the dress she is wearing now,” Lady Timothy explained.

  He turned to his left. Where had Lady Timothy come from? How had he not noticed either woman when he entered into the shop? He executed a quick bow to Lady Timothy and a nod toward Monique. Both must think him quite rude.

  “Miss Rutledge was inquiring about a new gown for her interview.” Lady Timothy’s eyebrow shot up in question, as if she didn’t trust his motives. He barely knew the lady so why would she be so distrustful of him?

  “Try it on, Miss Rutledge?” Monique held a dark green dress out and Miss Rutledge took it, disappearing into a curtained room.

  “Why are you concerned with Fairfield hiring a governess?” Lady Timothy questioned. Her foot tapped evenly against the floorboards. One fist was anchored at her hip. Had Lord Strotham not married this woman, she would have made an excellent governess for those girls.

  “So he will be available to go to London. He won’t go until he has a governess for his nieces.”

  “Why do you need him in London?” Monique leaned against the counter of her shop.

  Why was he being questioned by these two ladies? Of course he knew them, but certainly not well enough for them to ask about such personal matters.

  “If you must know, I intend to find a wife this Season and need Fairfield’s opinion and assistance.”

  Monique laughed and Lady Timothy grinned. They didn’t seem to believe him, though he couldn’t understand why.

  He crossed his arms over his chest and planted his feet. “I will have you know, the past few Seasons have not been particularly successful for me. There was only one lady with which I would have liked the opportunity to court but she was already betrothed.” He didn’t dare tell these two that the very lady he spoke of was currently changing her gown.

  “I still don’t see how Fairfield can be of assistance,” Lady Timothy persisted.

  “He is another opinion. He is . . . I just need him. That is all.” Why was he explaining himself to these two and why was he so defensive?

  * * *

  Audrey waited until she thought she had control over her emotions. To hear Winters announce that he intended to find a bride this Season was a knife to her heart. Of course, what should she have expected? It wasn’t as if he would ever consider her, even if he did find her attractive. Her name and reputation were so tarnished there was no hope of ever marrying quality, or anyone else for that matter. Still, she did not like to hear about his intentions of finding a bride.

  She adjusted the hint of lace at the tip of her sleeve. Was she the betrothed lady he spoke of? That could be dozens of ladies each Season, but what if it was her, and she suspected it was after the time they shared? If only things—

  She stopped the thought before it could form further. There was no future with Winters, she must forget the past.

  Audrey studied the dress in the mirror. The length was too long, but otherwise it fit everywhere else. “Monique.” She didn’t wish to parade around in front of Winters.

  Monique popped her head between the break in the cur
tains. “It is almost a perfect fit,” she said, moving into the room. “I only need to bring the hem up.” She gestured for Audrey to stand on a stool in the center of the room, then grabbed some pins off of the low table.

  “Before you go to any trouble, I need to know the cost.”

  The modiste looked up at her. “One pound.”

  It was as she feared. “I am afraid I do not have the funds. I will see what can be done with my dress.”

  “Nonsense.” Monique settled on the floor and began measuring and pinning the hem. “You need a dress for the interview. You can pay after you are paid.”

  “What if Fairfield does not hire me? Then how will I pay you?”

  Monique glanced up at her and smiled. “Don’t worry. We will think of something.”

  Audrey stepped away. “I cannot let you do this and I cannot take the dress without knowing if I can ever pay you back.”

  “Lady Timothy,” Monique called. A moment later the woman appeared in the dressing room. “You and your husband will be opening your lending library soon, correct?”

  A smile spread across Lady Timothy’s lips. “Yes.”

  “If Miss Rutledge is not hired as the governess, will you have a position?”

  Lady Timothy’s brows knit together in concern. “I suppose so, but I don’t really expect Miss Rutledge will actually need a job.”

  Monique laughed quietly. “Neither do I.”

  At least these two thought Fairfield would hire her, but did she risk having a new dress when there was uncertainty of where the funds would come from?